Fall is here..... hmmm

Well, I guess I will only be able to make monthly updates. I really wish I was better at committing to a blog.

September is here and with that means, cooler weather, allergies, football, crunchy leaves, bonfires, and too many thoughts for my head.

My father and I have this unique commonality: we LOVE FALL but yet it makes up depressed. It's rather hard to explain but it's something that I have had to deal with since Freshmen year in highschool. It's as if the excitement of the summer has officially ended and the droomy year is ahead of us.

Yet, I love being able to walk outside, feel the breezy, and not feel as if I'm going to die from heat. I love going to football games and seeing the crowds cheer on their teams. The time getting to spend with friends and family is another perk of the season.

Lately I've been questioning if my "best years" are behind me. I miss highschool, college..... not being AS responsible as I have to be now.

I feel out of sink with reality, I feel distant from my husband. I feel out of place with friends and awkward around family.

Maybe it's baby hormones. As of last Thursday I was 14 weeks pregnant. I thought we were ready for this; don't get me wrong I can not wait to hold my bundle of joy. I have always wanted kids. I love kids; it is my job after all. I love my nieces and my friends kids.

But with this child change is coming, and a big change. I'm just glad that little baby jones will be here in March when I'm not in my fall funk.

I did have a productive morning so far; cleaned all the dishes, put clothes away, cleaned everything really, had a great lunch (and splurged with coffee... baby liked!). Was able to read and listen to some good tunes.

I'm going to a baby shower here shortly. Then tonight, a lame Saturday night, I will be probably grading some papers and preparing a project for the kiddos. Student teaching has been going really well.

It is SO comforting to know that every time I walk into my classroom that that is where I need to be, this is what I need to be doing. It's good to feel like I belong somewhere. Even if it is a junior high trying to settle and find my management style.

Well, that's enough for my down self.

Fall.... my favorite enemy.